July 19, 2021

Photo of Jay Krasnow provided by author.

Bio

When I was a kid, my mom thought that I’d have my own talk show because I was always asking people lots of questions about themselves. When I graduated college, I began living my own dream as a reporter for a news media outlet. As a journalist, I spoke daily with public affairs officers who represented diverse government and corporate clients.

I soon realized that public affairs combined the best of both worlds of journalism and television talk shows — I get to learn interesting and unusual things about people who worked with me, I then get to tell their…


10 Remarkable Reasons Why Cats Are Odd

Photo by Tran Mau Tri Tam. Photo Obtained on Unsplash

Even the most dedicated feline lovers agree that cats are weird: Cats freak out over cucumbers, slumber all day and walk all over you while you sleep. Below I’ve provided answers the most common questions about why cats are so darn weird, hopefully demystifying your four-legged furry friends for you.

1) Why Are Cats Afraid of Cucumbers?

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve noticed that videos have popped up online of cats freaking out over seeing cucumbers. As humorous as these videos are, they lead me to the question: why are cats so afraid of cucumbers? There are several theories…


Rude staff, smoke odor and room cards don’t work irk me

Two shabbily-dressed hillbillies singing a song
Photo by tncountryfan obtained on CreativeCommons

I don’t want sound like an ungrateful, elitist curmudgeon.

After all, I am on vacation, while millions of Americans are unemployed — so they can’t take vacation — and millions of other Americans are sitting in jail for the crime of being the ‘wrong’ race, so they also can’t take vacation.

As I’m writing this, I’m sitting on the balcony of my hotel room in Alexandria Bay, N.Y. — better known as Thousand Islands. It’s called that for the obvious reason: It has more than 1,000 islands nestled in the St. Lawrence River. …


Wear it, fuel your car with it, just don’t brush your teeth with it.

Cow with head jammed close to viewer’s face with tongue out, ready to lick viewer
Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann obtained on Unsplash

The problem with chocolate, is that we can never eat enough of it. But what if you had a cubic ton of chocolate, and didn’t want to eat yourself sick by gnawing your way through it.

Here are some tips for using chocolate in ways other than just eating it.

1) Wear it

Salon du Chocolate, an annual event, treats spectators to a fashion show in which the models are decked out in outfits made of chocolate. If you’re looking for ideas to make a cute chocolate dress, Salon du Chocolate holds events in Beirut, Brussels, Japan, Lyon, Moscow, New York and Seoul.


Yeast are ethnically diverse, they don’t have sex.

Half eaten, delicious-looking roll with butter in it. It looks so good I can almost smell the yeast from that yeast feeding on the sugars found in the flour.
Photo by Markus Winkler obtained on Unsplash

Did you know that yeast are more interesting than the latest episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants? I have done my homework, and can tell you that these organism are quite fascinating indeed — and can tell you quite a bit about the ‘Yeastie Boys.’

That is to say, that I researched the Wild World of the Yeast, and have found that yeast is actually a single-cell fungi. As fungi, yeast are cousins of edible mushrooms, mushrooms that ripen blue cheese and molds that produce antibiotics for medical and veterinary use.

For something that’s totally gross, yeast are actually captivating…


You won’t believe Maryland’s law on fortunetelling

Hands behind person’s back in handcuffs. Person is wearing black shirt and orange pants.
Photo by Kindel Media obtained on Pexels

With all the poverty and violent crimes in America, you would think that state legislatures across the United States would focus on real problems. But no — some states regulate silly things like the sale of chilled water and fortune telling. I’ve done my research — but I’m still doing mental backflips over a few of these zany laws.

Without further ado, I’ve listed below six of the most ridiculous laws that states have on the books.

Connecticut: No Scavenging Allowed

In Hartford, Conn., an ordinance bars scavenging, according to the text of the rule that states “No person shall engage in the business…


Candidates with narcissism and lack of loyalty highly desired.

Photo of Vladimir Putin in blazer making a point.
Photo of Vladimir Putin by The Global Panorama obtained on Creative Commons

Job Summary

Small, underutilized nation seeks a highly motivated self-starter to serve as Most Excellent Dictator. In this role, you will manage the economy of a nation with a moderate-sized economy that has a rapidly growing agriculture and tourism sectors, as not much else is need to build it into a great world power.

If you are selected as the Most Excellent Dictator, you will be responsible for attending high-profile public events and using digital communications platforms to praise the toughness of your people and their resilience. You — as Most Excellent Dictator — will also engage with the international news media…


A poem about irrational fear

Naked woman sleeping
Photo by Annie Spratt obtained on Unsplash

A chain gang of electrodes skip along
the labyrinth that encompasses
my amygdala as a shell guarding it
rests on a white Corinthian column.

Outside the elaborate carving that
a craftsman forged into this wobbly spine
of s’mores, my orbs fixate yonder, across
the cleansed surface of a pink ivory kitchen
table that stretches 31 visible inches.

Perched adjacent to my teetering spinal cord
a non-imagery persona levitates in a chair
while also sitting squarely in the same like a
body tethered in a skin of silk and honey
dripping magically.

She, the smooth figurine of braille bursts,
running in place as an opening, a tunnel
that runs from her deep vowel, that canister
that acts a centrifuge that unhinges my mead.

My amygdala shuts down.

I quiver.

It would mean the world to me if you joined my writing family

Jay Krasnow

Former CIA officer | Most-definite Southpaw | Better Marketing | Writers Cooperative | Creative Cafe | Tweet: @JayKrasnow

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